Changing Lanes

If there is anything out there in a modern, "western" society that can drive one to complete and utter anxiety, it's driving. Why, either you yourself are the best driver there is and everybody else is a moron, or you think you're just an okay driver and still everybody else is a baffoon. Of course, this may not be without warrant. After all, who hasn't been frustrated when someone passes you because you aren't speeding enough? Why, I'm sorry I'm not breaking the law enough for you. If you want to pay a higher speeding fine, be my guest.

Then there are the Invincible's, the (usually) guys who drive fancy sports cars and weave in and out of traffic as if the cars existed solely to be their own personal video game. You also have the Easily Distracted, a group of people who's driving skills significantly worsen if they have to apply makeup, change a CD, take a call or catch their eye on a shiny object.

But the group of people I hate the most are the people who can accelerate in lightning-quick time. They will be behind you and, shudder the thought, my '92 can't exactly get up to 35 in three seconds. These cars naturally assume that all vehicles are like their's, so why on earth isn't this old beater up to speed already? The light turned green two seconds ago! Three seconds into it, they make exaggerated hand motions and pass. By the time they are done getting into the other lane my car has gotten up to speed and we ride side-by-side for miles. I smile just a little. If you want to pay to get my car to accelerate at lightning-fast speeds, then go for it. But until then, I kind of need that car, so please, don't get annoyed if you have to wait a whole six seconds.

Another fascinating variant are the Sudden Breakers. You see a car approaching a intersection going 60 mph. It's not slowing down, even though they have a red light and you have a green light. Twenty feet away now, they still aren't slowing down. Not wanting to file an insurance claim today, you slam on the breaks. Ten feet, the car is still racing towards you. You can't slow down enough, you're going to crash! Thankfully, the other car seems to have been stopped by the Hand of God itself, as it went from careening down in a deadly fashion to a complete stop within one second. The driver looks out through his or her sunglasses and wonders why on earth you aren't going faster.

There is also a rare kind of a driver, the I'm So Late I'm Going to Break Every Law To Get There driver. Usually seen going through a solid red light at a busy intersection. May collide with Too Sleepy to Notice The Light Changed Color-Man.

Driving, if done right, can be great and there are a ton of good drivers out there. However, there are still those out there who do such incredibly weird and, well, stupid things that makes it a little irritating at times. Then again, maybe everybody else is a buffoon...