Ode to Drive-Thru Customers

(NOTE: This is a re-publishing of a note I wrote on my Facebook account.)

Mick is a cook at Sandra's, a popular family-oriented restaurant. He has to keep 30 orders from burning, while simultaneously answering 50 drive-thru customers an hour. (Okay, just change Sandra's to Russ' and you get the idea...) Anyways, here's a pretty commonplace exchange at the homemade goodness place...

Mick: “Welcome to Sandra’s, how can we help you?”
Customer: “I need JUST ONE SECOND to look over the menu, ALRIGHT?”
Mick: “Not a problem, just let me know when you’re ready.”
Customer: *no answer*
(2 minutes later…)
Customer: “I want a burger with ketchup, onion, mayo, and cheese.”
Mick: “Okay, I’ve got one cheeseburger with ketchup, onion and mayo… What else can we get you?”
Customer: “Does that burger have cheese on it?”
Mick: “Yes, ma’am.”
Customer: “Okay. What kinds of soups do you have today?”
Mick: “Well, we have……” (A full minute is spent listing off the soups.)
Customer: “You don’t have potato soup?”
Mick: “No, ma’am. We have pretty much any other kind of soup you could want or imagine except for potato.”
Customer: “Oh no!”
Mick: “I know!”
Customer: “Oh….”
Mick: “I know…”
Customer: Well, we’ll just go with the chicken noodle soup then.”
Mick: “We don’t have chicken noodle, but we have chicken rice. Will that be okay?”
Customer: “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Mick: “Okay. What else can we get you today?”
Customer: “Where are your salads? I spent two minutes looking for them on this board but I don’t think they’re out here.”
Mick: “Upper right-hand corner, I believe…”
Customer: “Oh, sure enough!”
*pauses*
Customer: “Well, I’ll just get a piece of rhubarb pie to go along with that.”
Mick: “Not a problem.”
Customer: “Do you still have that burger?”
Mick: “Yes, we do!” (He withholds the fact that enough time has now lapsed that the burger is now completely cooked and wrapped in tin foil, ready to be taken out.)
Customer: “Oh, good. I also want a large glass of water.”
Mick: “Okay, so, let’s see here… We have that one burger with cheese, ketchup, mayo and onion, a bowl of chicken rice soup, one slice of rhubarb pie and one large glass of water. Anything else for you today, ma’am?”
Customer: “Do you have the total?”
Mick: “I actually don’t. The way our system is set up here, I don’t have a monitor right in front of me to check that. If you want to wait a minute I could go have someone ring it up so we can check the price. If not, I mean, they’ll tell you when you pull up, for sure.”
Customer: “Oh, I know. I just want to have my checkbook ready. Could you please go check on that?”
Mick: “Sure!” (Mick is regretting that this is now minute 6 of taking this window order.)
Mick: “Okay, the total for the order is $7.89.”
Customer: “Oh, shoot. You know what, that’s too much money. I’m sorry, but I’ll just come back again another day.” (quickly drives off)



Or, that's how it would be if I took the order. If it were Jason, here's how it would go:
Jason: "Welcome to Sandra's, how can we help?"
Customer: “I need JUST ONE SECOND to look over the menu, ALRIGHT?”
Jason: "Manager, can you take this one for me?"