Movie Previews: I hate them, really

Here are some thoughts about a few upcoming movies...

Hancock - It's a Will Smith movie that proves that he doesn't always pick good scripts. In fact, the trailer makes the movie look about as amusing as Men in Black II. Smith plays a "superhero," Hancock, who is a drunken mess and generally wreaks more havoc than he saves the city from. The superhero humor looks to be on par with My Super Ex-Girlfriend, but without Uma Thurman. (So what's the point?) I don't "get" it.

Wall•E - This latest Pixar animated film is about a robot. Who does not talk. And we really haven't seen much more than that from the two trailers. I really have no idea how the movie plays out, how many characters there are, or anything. But from the clips they showed, it looks like the film will have plenty of heart. And I'm willing to go see it just for that.

Horton Hears a Who - While the trailer is cut magnificently, this animated adaption of a Dr. Seuss classic looks like it could walk the line between being really original or being "predictably" funny. Unless I hear really bad things about it, I'll probably go see it. (It's from the people who made Ice Age, which is one of the most boring, most preachy animated movies I've seen. Or, just movies, period.)

Cloverfield - Something is attacking New York City. And it's all captured on amateur video. While that sounds like it may be headache-inducing, watching shaky, bouncy video for 2 hours straight, the film is being helmed by J.J. Abrams, storytelling visionary (if I may be so bold) who has helped launch Alias, Lost, and produced Mission Impossible: III. However, it's intense Internet buzz may set it up for disappointment, having the anticipation be more fun than the actual movie. (Remember, intense hype does not equal sales. Remember Snakes on a Plane?) If it wasn't made by J.J., I might even write the movie off as a cheap horror film. But knowing it's done by J.J., there will at least be something worth watching during the whole thing. (A great plot twist, perhaps? In the 2nd trailer, the Cloverfield'ers heard a clicking sound, not too unlike Smokey the Lost Island Monster...)

Jumper - This film, about a group of teleporters, is being heralded as "from the director of The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith." I liked both of those movies, a lot. (A lot lot, really.) But Jumper seems to be bad guys vs. bad guys. (?!) And it has such 'creative,' logical dialogue as: "If there's something you're not telling me, that's fine. Just don't lie to me." And I have no clue what Samuel L. Jackson is doing. Can he not teleport? Because he's dodging a semi. So is he just the exposition fairy? Color me unimpressed. (Although I'm sure the action scenes will be well done, the film itself doesn't look too promising for my tastes.)

Vantage Point - First, the really bad: it's a film with a bunch of A-level talent that was filmed a few years ago that is just coming out now. If you have a film with Sigourney Weaver, Forest Whitaker, William Hurt, Dennis Quaid and Matthew Fox, wouldn't you release the movie ASAP? Now, the good: the premise is fairly unique: it's the story of 8 people who have different "vantage points" to the assassination of the President of the United States. (Except, he's not really dead...!!?!) And then, of course, the ensuing manhunt. There's enough material where it could have been a 24 season, really. (And by that I mean a good season of 24.) And I really like the special effects title cards in the trailer. So I will see this movie. Because of animated title cards. In a trailer. (Yes, I know, I am weird. But I am also seeing the movie because it looks good!)

Ironman - Is this film about Ironman or Jet Jaguar? Because, while the colors are different, the costuming is similar. (And the flying effects equally cheesy. Honestly, folks, it's almost 2008! Can't we have good flying effects by now?) And Robert Downey Jr. as a superhero? Are all the people involved in this film smoking something? Thankfully, Ironman's non-suited self seems to be slightly-to-moderately funny. That will be nice for the people who go see the film.

QUICK MENTIONS:
Persepolis - I will probably never see this film about the Iranian Revolution. Maybe. But I like the art style.
Chicago 10 - Unique concept, visually.
The Orphanage - The most cliched horror trailer ever.
21 - Interesting story, interesting characters. I'm not sold, but, I'm intrigued.