Choosing the right role

Last semester, I took an introduction to acting class at school. It was one of the most unique, relaxing, fun classes I have ever taken. We would start the session off with warm-ups (stretches, yoga, all that good stuff), then have some lecture, usually do some "improv" acting on the spot, rehearse our acting scenes, discuss how to break down a scene, and more. It was refreshing and a terrific class to take. And it was an excellent follow-up to a public speaking class. This class had public speaking, but it also had you with no notes, doing physical movements, impacting your scene partner, and dividing your attention. No easy feat. And if I took away one thing, other than more public confidence, is to choose your role carefully.

During the course of the class, I played Henry II from a scene in The Lion in Winter, and Polonius from Hamlet. Both were terrific roles, full of subtext, danger, intrigue, and hidden meanings. They also had very "ye olde English"-style dialogues. And the prose of Shakespeare - it was terrible to memorize! Both roles wound up being too much to chew off, especially for an intro to acting class. It is not that I did terrible. There were many elements that the class told me were good. But I would forget lines. Because they were tough. Very tough. And the characters were not exactly like me. I am not a spiteful old king, manipulating his estranged wife. I am not a conniving court jester hoping to wreak havoc. Having to step into those shoes further added to the troubles.

For our last scene, our teacher suggested that we get into groups. Everybody had to think of actors and actresses that inspire them, and why. What did they do? What makes them compelling? Why do we like them? Then we had to think of the types of character we would like to play. For our last scene, we would be doing monologues without a scene partner, so there was more flexibility in finding a role that was more suited for us. Finally, we had to tell our group partners what kind of character we thought they should play, and why. I was told that I seemed like the kind who would play an honest type who would be put upon a lot. Kind of a "Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond," someone who tried to keep things under control but things got out of control from underneath him. I left class that day, reflecting on those exercises and what that could mean for my acting roll.

As I was dwelling on those thoughts, I was flipping through monologue books at the school library. Many of the scenes were either too long (we had a time limit), or too boring. Too uninspired. Too controversial. Too unlike me. I picked up another book, opened it up and found it: my perfect role. The role I would do wonders with in class. The role that fit my criteria, that fit others criteria, the role that would be absolutely perfect for me:

Charlie Brown.

He is shy. Socially stunted. Afraid to try new things. He feels his life is terrible, unaware that he is the one making his life so burdened. It is a terrific character, full of irony and subtext, and had many entry points to which I could relate. I read over the role and it was perfect for me.

Performance day comes and I play my short scene as Charlie Brown. I am very nervous, which plays great into the character, who is made up of nothing but nervousness and worry. I can tell that the whole class is studying me, watching me. Which is great, because if they were looking away, I would know I was not giving a great performance. I get a couple laughs where I was supposed to, which is an amazing rush. It is the same rush you get from public speaking, only slightly more so. Seconds later, the performance ends. I get applause. And I get mostly terrific feedback. I got a couple compliments on choosing a terrific role, one that fit me well.

Life is kind of like that. We go through life, we try different things and hope to figure out what we do well at. We might bite off more than we can chew, absolutely. But through some patience, wisdom and guidance, we just might figure out what role we were meant to play after all. I don't think I quite know what that role is for me yet. All I know is that I'm pretty sure I'm looking in the right section. And I've had advice from people on what careers they think I'd be good at. And I've taken dozens of "what career is best for you" job placer tests and personality quizzes. Unless everybody and every quiz robot gave me bad advice, I'm on the right track. But I just have to find that right role. That perfect job, which may not get me as much applause as playing Charlie Brown did, but will give me an equal amount of satisfaction.