Keep it to yourself

You know what I don't like? When I explain how I'm feeling, and people tell me I have no right to feel what I'm feeling. I might say, "I've been working for ten hours, I'm kind of tired right now!" and then someone will say "Well, I've been working for twelve hours, so you have no right to complain!"

Guess what?

I do.

Just because you feel tired also does not make me magically not tired. It does not negate what I am feeling.

Even better is my personal favorite, "stop acting like that." Not only does it make it sound like they are treating me like a three-year-old, it also assumes they have some sort of power or dominion over me. And it usually just amplifies whatever I'm feeling at the time. Not too long ago, I had a very bad day at work. My mind was scattered with all sorts of stressful stuff, I did not want to be there, I had very little sleep, I had a headache, and all other sorts of complain-able stuff. I had a bad day, okay? Everyone has them. Except for me, apparently, because everybody told me to snap out of it and be in a good mood. Although my friends were very well-intentioned, it does not work like that. Genuine attitudes are a shift, they are not turned on and off at will. And it just makes me upset that people have decided how I can and cannot feel, and apparently I cannot deviate from their will.

You can ask me how I'm feeling, or why I'm upset. But please, oh please, do not think that I will suddenly feel better because you are having a bad day as well. And please do not tell me to just snap into a new attitude, because, really, if I could, wouldn't I?