Trailers & Previews: The Watchmen

Trailers & Previews is a irregularly occurring feature on Bemusings, where I watch a trailer or preview for something, usually a movie, and comment on it. I don't set out to hate or like everything. I try to watch previews with a "blank slate" and then draw my impressions based on that. And these are my impressions.

The Watchmen. Who are they? Watch this trailer for the upcoming movie. And this post is "interactive," in so much as you need to watch the trailer for this post to make sense:


At first, the trailer tells is that "In 2009, everything we know will change." This happens as a guy gets shocked with electricity and the hair on his arms stand up. DUUUUDDEE! Then I'm thinking that the new Hulk movie already came out, so, what's up? Then we get this music playing that is weird, even for me (and I love weird music), this kind of maybe Arabian, maybe Bohemian, maybe crap kind of music. And we dwell on this submarine spaceship, which, WHY? And then we get flashes of generic superheros and somewhat insultingly gratuitous female superhero costumes. The flames. A mob? Then the blue guy floats in the air, someone kisses, Die Fledermaus gets angry, someone promises not to save the world (jerk), and then we spend twelve seconds on this thing, a wheel-like spaceship? I HAVE NO CLUE. THEN we get the title (Watchmen), then it fades out, then fades in AGAIN, but this time with the movie web site address. Honestly, for half a second, I was mad, because I just saw the title of the movie, I don't need to see it again.

So what's the movie about? Blue Hulk and Die Fledermaus fight? And others kiss? And there are weird, freaky aircraft that appear outside of any imaginable context? It was a two minute trailer. It was even called a trailer. Not a teaser, not a 60-second "we have a movie coming out soon, details later" kind of a trailer. No, this was a full two minutes of random crap, made beautiful by terrific editors.

The movie looks generically beautiful. There's nothing wrong with the style, the muted colors, the obvious computer generated effects, the annoying slow-motion. (So help me if I ever make a movie and the studio wants lots of slow-motion, I will strangle someone to keep it out of my project.) But I have no clue what the movie is about!

I have not read the graphic novels. I have not even heard of them. (Don't laugh. Have you heard of Gilbert and Sullivan? Didn't think so.) And I knew there was a lot of hype surrounding the release of this trailer. So I wanted to know what the fuss was about. After watching the trailer, I still do not know.

I may still see the movie, if I ever see a trailer that gives some little details, like who the characters are and what the movie is about. But until then, I'll just have to be unsatisfied with what I've seen.

P.S. Some research shows that The Watchmen was big because it first showed superheroes as "real people with real flaws." It was pretty revolutionary two decades ago. But does that mean that The Watchmen will just be Daredevil with prettier visuals? Time will tell.