Don't Fight the Sleep

Why do I try to stay awake?

What a loaded sentence. Let me give you some context. Its Saturday afternoon. I have window fans going, but its still hot and humid. I'm tired still from the night before, I have some relaxing music going, and I have my homework notes in front of me, in preparation for a test. A perfect recipe for a lazy Saturday nap, right? Yes. However, I resisted that urge.

But why did I try to stay awake? I knew I had homework to do. Other things could've been accomplished. And yet, I probably spent more time trying to stay awake, rather than just lying down for an hour and getting a few quick z's.

At the time, this does not seem to make sense. It is Saturday afternoon. There is stuff to do. It is not time for a nap. I have not done anything deserving of a nap, I tell myself. A nap is a reward. (Unless its Sunday, then, its a right.) So I spend a couple hours, dozing in and out of consciousness at my desk, telling myself that I shouldn't nap. I'm telling myself that I should not waste time. In that process, I end up wasting more time.

The next time I feel the urge to fall asleep at home, perhaps I should just do so. Its lazy, but apparently, less lazy than the alternative.