The following quotes are taken from my 2005 The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said day-to-day calender. Copyright infrigment lawsuits, here I come!"This amendment does more damage than it does harm." - Cynthia Willard-Lewis (D-NO)
"It is advisable to be two people during assembly." - Instruction manual for an Ikea desk
"I have two weapons - my legs, my arm, and my brains." - Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick
"Stay away from this drum set if an earthquake occurs." - Warning on Tama brand drums.
"I didn't even know Elvis was from Mepmhis. I thought he was from Tennessee." - Memphis Grizzlies rookie Drew Gooden.
"Sundance [Film Festival] is weird. The movies are weird - you actually have to think about them when you watch them." - Britney Spears
"I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Bunny." - English subtitle in a Hong Kong kung-fu movie.
"To use an English phrase, he is a host in himself." - from the English-Chinese Word Ocean Dictionary.
"It's not going to be peaches and gravy all the time." - Indiana Pacers center Brad Miller, on his team's struggles.
"Do not use the UltraDisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult." - Warning label on a CD player (winner of the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch "wackiest warning labels" contest for 2002).
"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." - President George W. Bush
"My guitars are my umbilical cord. They're directly wired into my head." - Kirk Hammett, guitarist for Metallica
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