I admittingly fell asleep for the last third, but caught a video clip of Sanjaya's performance. I can't believe that he's going to be on the tour. He's like Ace Young and Bucky Covington rolled into one. Young, nervous, not that great but the teenyboppers love him! So annoying. Why on earth would you vote for someone because he's young? Like, oh, I'll overlook his apparent lack of good singing because he's young. Is that the thought process? Or is it, I'll overlook his lack of good vocal pipes because he has Medusa's hair? It may be the same thought process that kept Haley on for another week... "Wow, she has thighs! I never expected her to have those... I better vote for her!" Morons.
Anyways, I'm going to make a few predictions... Sanjaya stays for 4 more weeks.
- LaKeisha will be voted off in a few weeks and everyone will be surprised. She will follow in Mandisa's footsteps and she will be very, very happy.
- Melinda and Blake will be the Top 2. Melinda will win. Blake will sell more records.
- Taylor Hicks will still continue to look like a manic-depressed serial killer and will probably hunt down and murder me for writing that.
- Chris Sligh will at least make it to the Top 5.
- Chris Richardson will not.
- Phil Stacey will remain bald until Sanjaya leaves, in protest.
- Jordin Sparks will follow Elliot Yamin's path where she has some of the best vocals of the group, but remains very forgettable. She will still last a long, long time.
- Melinda will finally perfect the Kellie Pickler method of getting votes: Be goofy and aloof and be a good singer.
- Haley will continue to dress like she's asking America for something other than votes to help distract from her bad singing. Much like Sanjaya's weird Taylor-esque antics this week. (I'm double-dead now!)
- Gina will continue to dominate the rocker vote that Bo Bice and Daughtry helped usher in. She will still fall short of their record-selling powers, in so much as she can sing. Daughtry can't sing and he went far. If Gina just screams, she will do fine.
- I predict that the fundraiser will be commercial free, just to spite everyone who has to sit through 20 Coca-Cola commercials during a normal show.
- I predict that Jennifer Lopez's guest-coaching stint will be for 90's Week. She will help Haley sing a Britney Spears song while Melinda will make a error in judgement and sing Baja Men's Who Let the Dogs Out? (Who? Who, who, who?)
- Blake Lewis will continue to update older songs and the judges will continue to alternate whether or not they absolutely hate the very idea, or if they think it is the most brilliant thing ever.
- Ryan Seacrest will come out... with another TV talk show.
- In a massive promotion event for 'Til Death, Brad Garrett will be a guest judge one week. He will give better criticism than Paula but will not be as vaguely helpful as Randy.
- Love songs week will still be boring.
- Over the summer, Blake Lewis will "Blake-ize" Daniel Powter's Bad Day, thus bringing it into the Idol family once again and ready to use instead of Daughtry's shrieking farewell ballad.
- Sanjaya's ultimate undoing will be the week when he does something really drastic with his hair. Remember when Ace Young slicked back his signature 'do for one week? Not only did he look completely different, the teenyboppers rebelled against him and sent him home. Watch Sanjaya's hair... It'll be the key to him going home.
- Taylor Hicks will be a musical guest star some week during the results show. Ryan will joke about how he doesn't need to hear criticism from the judges any more. We don't see it, thanks to a five-second delay, but Taylor decides to flip off the judges on national TV. He is not invited back. (Triple-dead!)
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