A Lost Recap

Here's some highlights from Lost, presented like few other blogs have, I'm sure...

JACK: Sun, you dead yet from being pregnant?
SUN: You creep... are you working with the others?
KATE: Nope, but Juliet is! Because, you see, she's an other.
JULIET: You're pregnant? Aw, congratulations! You might die very soon, though. Pregnant women on this island tend to do that. Often. Let's go to the medical station!
SUN: Alright, but this faux-kidnapping thing isn't exactly making me happy, considering I've been kidnapped before on this island. Thanks for inducing PTSD flashbacks, JULIET.
JULIET: *stares*
SUN: Hey, the medical station was empty last time we saw it!
JULIET: Yeah, but ABC coughed up some money for props and this secret room! It's where we kept the dying moms, so it'll be perfect for performing an ultrasound.
SUN: Boy or girl?
JULIET: Too soon. But it's healthy! Unlike you. You've got about 2 months to live.
SUN: The baby is Jin's! Aw... Thanks, Juliet. If we were on the mainland, you'd be in my Top 5 for sure!
JULIET: Excuse me a second while I conspire to commit evilness... Ben? I'm going after Kate next. And, I hate you. Still.

PERSON: *cough* *cough*
DESMOND: She's not Penny!
HURLEY: Dude... I shot off a flare.
CHARLIE: I'll just hog a bunch of screentime, so you won't miss me when the island eventually course-corrects my life.
MIKHAIL: Someone call for a multi-lingual field medic?
CHARLIE: Hey, aren't you the one who died?
MIKHAIL: So?
PERSON: "jsdgksgpkopkgfh"
MIKHAIL: She said, shut up Charlie. Now stand back as I perform surgery so gruesome it makes season one seem tame!
PERSON: *GURGLE*
EVERYONE ELSE: Gross...
MIKHAIL: Bye!
JIN: Radio, gone. Beat him up!
MIKHAIL: Um, here's the radio...
DESMOND: Leave. I'm a ex-monk, I can take a higher road, even if it means not getting answers. Just leave! Penny, where are you?
PERSON: Hey, Hurley, you survive Flight 815? Because they found 815, and the passengers, and ya'll were dead.
HURLEY: Dude...

FLASHBACKS:
JIN: I love you!
SUN: I love you!
JIN: I love you, madly!
SUN: I love you, madly!
WOMAN: Give me $100,000 or else I'll disgrace Jin.
SUN: Freakin'... Fine. Whatever.
JIN: Don't ask me about my father until I get my story straight...
JIN'S DAD: Sun! I recognized you from the paper!
SUN: I love you, father-in-law!
JIN'S DAD: Same here. But, Jin's mom was a "hired help" and dumped the baby on me. And that'll bring shame upon the family if he ever knows. So leave now and never return!
SUN: 'Kay. Hey, dad, can you spare $100,000?
PAIK: HARUMPH! I'm the Asian Mr. Scrooge! Of course I can't.
SUN: It's to prevent shame...
PAIK: Jin, eh? Fine. Have the money. But, Jin will work for me now. And that job requires lots of stain removers...
JIN: What's this money?
SUN: Oh, I just thought it'd be nice to buy $100,000 worth of furniture...
JIN: Hon, I'll make the money, okay?
SUN: Yes, dear...
WOMAN: Got the money?
SUN: I do. But next time, just say you're Jin's mom. And, never cross my family, because we are powerful. And we can ruin your life, or end it.