24: 9 - 10 pm, Day 6

Last night's episode of 24 felt like the finale in many ways. We pretty much resolved our villain plots, we had a major resolution to the Vice-President storyline and Buchannan and Hayes wuv each other still. We just have to deal with everyone nuking each other, realize that Audrey is alive then we can pack up early and go home. Let's end this season early, okay? Please? It'll be less embarrassing if you do...

The D.C. Plotline
We started off this week with Wayne Palmer, in a nice, crisp new suit, demanding that he not be seen in a wheelchair. When Karen Hayes points out that one of America's most beloved, memorable presidents was in a wheelchair, Wayne just growls at her and makes his doctor inject him with adrenaline. Presumably, he still has massive brain swelling, but that's not mentioned at all in this episode.

The cabinet convenes for a trial, as in accordance with the 25th Amendment. You remember how boring it was in season 2 when they did this? It's still not all that exciting. After about 3 minutes of debate, the cabinet votes 7-7 to remove Wayne from power. The attorney general says that since there is no majority, Wayne stays in power. The veep gets all angry, saying that Karen Hayes' vote shouldn't count, because she resigned for about 2 hours. So the Attorney General goes off to get the Supreme Court in session and gives everyone about 10, 15 minutes to submit written affidavits.

The veep's incredibly creepy sultress, Lisa Miller, says that she will commit perjury and lie to SCOTUS by saying that she was going to tell Karen that the veep doesn't recognize her in power, but then got sidelined by Wayne waking up. Daniels loves this plan and shares a forbidden moment as they gaze into each other's eyes. Ew. Tom Lennox enters and sends Lisa out. Lennox says that he bugged the room and was spying on the acting President of the United States. Which I'm sure is a felony, at least. BUT... So is perjury. So Lennox strong-arms Daniels into dropping the case.

Wayne doesn't show much emotion upon hearing this news, because he is becoming woosy and drowsy. (I wonder why?) But Sandra Palmer, the only apparent legal aide that Wayne was allowed, is ecstatic. Wayne wants more adrenaline to keep him upright, but the doctor warns that it'll raise his blood pressure to extreme levels, risking inevitable death. Wayne doesn't care. Why? Because he is going to nuke the middle-east anyways. Yup, that's right. That strike that he was so against? That his life was risked for to stop? That we just spent this WHOLE EPISODE dealing with, trying to stop? Yeah, it's going ahead anyways. Either there's something we don't know, or they just wasted our time these past few episodes.

Counter-Terrorism Unit (CTU) Plot:
We spent 2 minutes after we saw the previouslies as Buchannan, well, told Jack was happened last week. IN CASE YOU FORGOT. Doyle thinks that the security breach came from Milo's system and he wants Nadia to spy on Milo. Doyle says that he and her got off to a bad start, but wants to help make things right. Nadia is reluctant to help, and good for her! I mean, he assaulted her, accused her of being a traitor pretty much because of racist/racial profiling, and an hour later he wants to be buddy-buddy and have her SPY on her new love? Nadia pretty much gives him the look of "you're absolutely daffy," but she does it anyways. And Milo forgot some security protocol, so yes, the breach was "his fault." Doyle sees this evidence and DELETES IT. And that's it for that plotline. Yes, it was that riveting and fulfilling. We wasted 10, 15 minutes then just said "Forget all about that!" and thus CTU ended it's soap plot for the week. Stupid, stupid...

The Jack Bauer Power Hour:
Jack who? Oh yeah, the man holding Gredenko in custody. Anyways, he spends about an hour getting paperwork for a amnesty agreement that the US won't actually honor. Gredenko sets up a meeting with Fayed. Before they let Gredenko meet Fayed, a agent injects the crazy man's arm with radioactive isotope, so they can track him via computers. Gredenko meets up with Fayed, and says that he knows of a way to escape. How, you ask? After all, CTU is tracking him with the isotope. Well, as Bauer finds out, they cut off Gredenko's arm. Gross!

So naturally, Gredenko and Fayed run away and hide in a bar. Gredenko yells that Fayed is the terrorist responsible for today's attacks and all the drunks are eager to beat the creepster up. Bauer enters and takes Fayed into custody, but has lost Gredenko. That's because Gredenko is underneath a few piers, which are magnificently lit, and he bleeds to death.

Next week: Wayne collapses. Fayed is interrogated. And Jack Bauer dies, AGAIN. Stupid show.

Season 3 similarities: Gredenko's arm chopping adventure is reminiscent of Chase getting his hand lopped off. And Wayne becoming addicted to adrenaline? I do believe Jack was a druggy that season. Hhhmmm...