Upfront Predictions: ABC

These are my predictions for pickups for the 2007-08 television season on ABC:

- Marlowe, a drama about gumshoe detective Philip Marlowe. (This is an updated version of the Raymond Chandler classics.) Living in a high-tech world, Marlowe solves crime in a very low-tech way. (Just like Monk!) He also has a girl by his side to help him save crime. (Just like Monk! Oh... also, like EVERY show in the past two decades.) Starring Jason Golberg and Amanda Righetti.
- Mr. & Mrs. Smith, a drama (hopefully a dramedy) about John and Jane Smith, six months after the events of the motion picture. They live together in the suburbs and can never truely confide in each other. But if it retains the humor of the movie, it should be good. Starring Martin Henderson and Jordanna Brewster.
- Private Practice, a spin-off from Grey's Anatomy. Dr. Addison joins a co-op fertility clinic in LA in hope of sunnier pastures. But there's still sudsy drama! And that talking elevator... Starring everyone you've ever seen on TV before.
- Eli Stone, a character drama about a hardened lawyer who suddenly begins hallucinating about dead relatives and pop stars. (It's Raines as a lawyer!) Eli realizes that he may be destined to become a prophet. Stars Jonny Lee Miller, Natasha Henstridge and Victor Garber.
- Footballer Wives. Based on a popular BBC program which is pretty much described as a lot dirtier than Desperate Housewives. Starring waaay too many people.
- Carpoolers, a "comedy," on ABC. Enough said.
- Literary Superstar, perhaps. But that's a long shot, IMHO. (And you don't even know what I'm talking about! Poor, poor confused readers.)

NOT a Prediction: Already Renewed: Ugly Betty, America's Funniest Home Videos, The Bachelor, Boston Legal, Dancing with the Stars, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Lost, Men in Trees, Supernanny, Wifeswap, Saturday Night Football.

NOT a Prediction: Already Cancelled: Daybreak, Six Degrees, The Great American Dream Vote, In Case of Emergancy, Show Me The Money